FART versus Self esteem

 Yesterday one of my friends said he wanted to see me for an important discussion( and as my ear cannot hear important discussion and rest,) I told him to come to my room at 6pm in the evening ...flash back two days before,I was hungry and had this very strong urge to take beans so I cook a whole pot of beans and as people are suffering all over the world now I decided not to waste the excess,so for two days beans was my major food, I ate it in different ways, at any time beans and yam, beans and bread,beans and "garri", beans and egg, beans and akara. It was breakfast, lunch and dinner...it was appetizer, main dish and dessert.
    Y'all know about the side effect of excess beans now, so yesterday I was plagued with fart, I did it anywhere I went and it was had both sound and substance,at a point I felt like I was in some kind of competition with a soak away,the sound startled me each time it comes out. I was in the middle of this when he told me about the important message. Evening came and he was around,he was late by an hour (trust Nigerians to always keep to african time)...we started the "important" discussion and its turns out he was feeling the girl...We were in the middle of this conversation when the second season of my fart fiasco showed its ugly head...as a fine girl that needs to represent nahhh , I "held" it ...yes people I endured the sweating and shaking that comes with not letting go . At this point I was so glad am black (cos I was turning red).I came out of the situation with my self esteem still intact.
  That brings me to my questions. What would you do if you feel the urge to go in front of a guy that is asking you out. And guys what would you do if you feel the urge to fart in front of ur crush or that classy babe that is feeling you?... When dose it become okay to  fart in front of ur significant other?