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Sunday, 28 June 2015

Running scared

  It would be 21 years I have been in this world by july 4(next saturday). Am not the type to celebrate birthdays(I don't really like the attention the celebrant get at the party) my introvert side gets the best of me. At birthday party am either the girl talking smack about the MC or the calculated event planner. However this post is not about how much I hate the actually party. I don't feel sour because I might have to throw a party, I don't know the actual reason am all teeth and fangs.

Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Forbidden fruit

  This is something I saw online a long time ago , I can't remember where I saw it but it nice so enjoy.


Hedonistic in our quest for pleasure
we met and ate the apple.
It tasted so delicious
we ate it again
Then again
and again.
As we ate our teeth touch seed
We feign ignorance.
Still we continued.
Eating,sharing.
After we had eaten to our full,
I sit alone and reflect.
I want more than apple with you
I want to taste love,companionship,friendship
I want to be spared from the pain and shame and regret.
what makes us share
yet seek to remain detached?
I ask thesE questions
but on the morrow,
I'm anxious and waiting.
Waiting.
Will you come?
Will you come?
You do!
You obviously feel
the same about the apples?
What pride keeps us
from saying
we want more
than apples together?
Pride goeth before a fall;
but before that fall,
I wish the juice
will drip
and stain me
so i'll forever remember
our apple eating days.

Monday, 22 June 2015

Rich beyond money

  Everyone tries very hard to be rich ; or at least fantasizes about riches. I too wish to be rich and roll in the green carpet of $$$. Won't it be just fine to have a palatial Victorian era house ? A couple of golden retrievers prancing around in the well manicured gardens ? How about stepping out from a Bentley in casual yet trendy golf attire. However, I am much too aware of my own fallibility in the face of " Hedonic Adaptation". Put simply - "I get bored of eating the same cake".
So what, you might counter ? You can always find the next thing that entertains you. Isn't that what rich people do ? Sure, and such is the end game of richness for most middle class citizens. However, I am interested in being truly rich. Rich beyond my wildest imaginations. Not a shallow sort of richness that comes from owning one thing after another. Flitting in cold sweat trying to fill the existential vaccum of modern consumerist society. Such fake richness is mere slavery ; bonded to the chains of material possessions.
Aha! You have a solution you say. Invest in life you say. Live a little you say. After all we only live once - YOLO! How about taking that trip to Rome ? How about that whale watching cruise near Seattle ? How about that Broadway musical ? The cirque de soleil show ? How about that pub crawl in downtown SF? This fancy ale ? That wine and cheesing tasting ? Thai ? Mongolian? Ethiopian ?... Excellent. I think you nailed it.
Still something nags me. Something doesn't seem quite right. Something that creeps up my spine while driving along Highway 101 ; after an evening spent doing yuppie things. Something that gently scratches away in a little corner of my mind while the rest of it is engaged trying to plan the next weekend fun experience. I still feel quite trapped. Did I just substitute owning "things" with owning "experiences" ?

Thursday, 18 June 2015

& so on and so forth

   Okay!so am here to rant, that's the reason why I didn't offer any form of salutation. So have been ill for a while now, missed a lot of classes( now I have friends that attend the same class) but non, like non has come to visit me. Common have missed lectures for like 5 days, that's a week in the school system and nobody bother to call. Really! Am not a very nice person but mtn has a call rate that is like 3kobo per second. With how ill I am I can only talk on the phone for about 30 second. Now how much is 90kobo that you can't use it to call a "friend"? And the friend is in quote because I don't really know what friendship is in the 21st century. Most peoples best friends are their gadget. You know all those stuffs that in 10 years would be mechanical waste according to my father(who I have not called in weeks by the way)I make sure i call him as soon as possible. At least to collect my allowance. My best friend most of the time is my shitty phone, the only reason I don't blame my fucktard friends(excuse my french) for not calling or flashing or texting or going back in time to send me a call me back message on MTN's purse(am sure they won't mind) now am starting to consider MTN a very good friend, they have been sending me both cool and stupid messages, I have learnt to accept the cool ones and totally ignore the stupid ones.

Tuesday, 16 June 2015

How often do you go for medical check ups?

  Good morning afternoon and night people of God. How una dey, shey wa alright. If you are reading this that means you survived monday. Yea! My mondays this semester would all be lazy mondays( on lecture basics) I have just one lecture from 11-12 every monday. My lecturer however decided not to come for the lecture, so the time was used for photo shoot( trust girls to always bring out the model in them at every opportunity they get) I took the opportunity to take a picture of me too( am not very proud of it, but it had to be done).

Monday, 15 June 2015

Social entrapment anyone?

  Been kinda ill lately, been having those days when I just want to sleep in and eat to my heart's content. Days when I want to hang a sign at my door that reads:
   " before you knock ask yourself these questions,
(1) do you have an appointment
(2) Would I be happy to see you
(3) Is your visit really important? Visit only when its an emergency."
    But since I don't have a "do not knock" sign up yet, I would have to make do with not answering the door. Bite me if you just found out I was in the whole time while you knocked for over thirty minutes. I just don't want to be trapped in conversations I wouldn't know how to escape from. Don't get me wrong, I love to talk, A lot! But everyone has those days and for me its everyday, so forgive me!
 Check out four levels of social entrapment

Sunday, 14 June 2015

So what's new?

     Holla everyone, I know have been away for a long time, I have been very busy, I have been trying to get me a project topic for over two weeks(like who does it take two weeks to get project topic abi?). I actually have an idea of what I want to do but I haven't framed the topic yet. I want to do something on RITUALIZED PEDIATRIC, I too like winchi winchi things.

Saturday, 6 June 2015

Riddle me this

 Holla! Everyone in the house, hope we are well?. You know am bad at introductions( greeting has never been my strong point) I 'suck' at it, for lack of better qualification to use for been very very bad at greeting.
    Am that girl that greets you from a mile away, most time with a wave( obviously, you didnot expect me to shout). When am close by, the greeting is usually so low, you might need to stop and listen.
   Anyway I didn't write this post to talk about how bad I am at greeting. Here is why am here.
     Did anybody find out what happened to all the people that trekked for buhari and jonathan? Its like they fell off the planet earth. Or am I the one who has been living under a rock for weeks!
    

Friday, 5 June 2015

The rape culture and an apology

 Hello! My beautiful people I apologize for going away without warning for so long, it was due to situation of things in nigeria.
   Life was harder than I was used to so I had to squeeze myself into the only cold spot around and that is my room, it was like all the elements in the world was against me, the sun was hotter, rain fell on my fine hair(had to loose it before I beat my head to death), there was no cooking gas due to d petrol scarcity so I feed on bread and coke for an entire week(taking a very long break from bread and I can still taste the coke). Transport was double the price, goods and services were expensive,My phone was off most of the time and the network was very bad, still very very bad. The major reason I didn't post anything its because I didn't want to rant for one whole week and because all my files disappeared from my phone.
     Anyways I think the hardship made me leave my comfort zone for a while, I decide to go visit a friend, on getting there I met him and the weirdest roommate in the entire world. Today's post is inspired by my conversation with him(the roommate).
   Apparently he was taken by my attention to him( I would listen to anything once its gossip) he told me about a lot of things that are supposed to be kept to himself, his parents, his birth, his family member, step father, education, philosophy of life, everything. Most of his story were not normal. The one I would be talking about is when he said " am a good guy, I don't rape".
      When he said that the noodle on my head, immediately started doing the work it abdicated since I entered the room and my friend said he needed to go to the studio 30minutes later. I started thinking of the reason I was still there. ' Here I am staying with someone who just told me that even though he doesn't rape, he was there when 5 of his friends raped a girl because she "fucked up".
        My brain however didn't transmit the RUN message to my leg, I wanted to know more, what happened, what did she do wrong. But words failed me when I tried to pass across that question. I was only trying to think of what I would tell the police when they ask for my statement( I was not 'forced' into the guy's room), what happens when I go to the student union security team to report, won't I be booed out when they hear I smiled sheepishly every time a stranger entered the room while I was there, can I stand the taunting from my fellow students, the name calling, all the "ahh that girl is not a good girlllleee jare" from people who barely know me, "what was she even doing in a boy's house", "I was expecting it sef", "maybe he didn't keep up with his own part of the bargaina(that is still rape sef, if you don't pay that runs girl you raped her)".... And the very few people that would pity me enough to give me a hug when they see me, or call to tell me 'its well, its all good'. Those that would hear the story of woe and manage say " Eyah, that girl that is always smiling".
     After seeing the light I had to think "why was i doing this thinking inside this room with this weird guy for the love of all things fried?". But a yoruba adage says "the person whose head will spoil, its the neck it starts from".
     I have realized I don't hear girls report rape cases and the few that are reported are usually just killed along the line. Now a days when a girl opens up about been raped, fingers are usually pointed her way instead of the rapist side, rape is justified, your hear people saying "with the way she dresses its little wonder she had not been raped earlier", "he is her boyfriend( good! He is her boyfriend, but that is not an invitation to bed, because I am going out with you doesn't mean we would have sex with each other, and if I refuse am on my right)". The worse part of all this is that most of the time, the side talks are usually said by girls.
    Now I ask why? If you know why abeg tell me, and another question what should we then do, "stand in the light or hide in the shadow?"


P.S :. Please loves don't try what I did, if you go visiting anybody make sure you keep you out of harms way. That because I would hate to loose anyone to mental illness. Pheezy truly and duly cares!...


Catch you on my next post hopefully tomorrow.


Tuesday, 2 June 2015

Life of a stranger : Addiction

 You see I have seen a lot of movies, most of them I watch in quarter of the viewing time, I have always been in a race, I try to do a lot of thing at once, try to read a lot of books at once, I even grew up faster than I should, I have done a lot of things am not supposed to have done yet, I have far more experience than my senior folks in explicit situation, at a time in my life I was on a roll, I dated more than 10 guys within the space of 5 years and have heard sex with over 30 guys also within the same time bracket.