Blast from the past
I wrote this post about two years ago, I was in a place so dark I was scared to ask for help. I didn't allow anyone read it. I am sharing this today because I feel like I have conquered my demons or at least chased them off.
* * *
Have you ever been at the brim where you have no choice but to jump?
Have you ever tried walking for a very long time but not knowing where to go? have you ever been in a situation where you need to breath for the sake of living?
have you ever felt so tired and then feel all your labours are meaningless?
Everyday you wake up wishing there will be something new. Gazing at yourself in the mirror finding nothing but shadow.
Why is the world so harsh, that it leaves you nothing but pain?it doesn't even give you the chance but decides for your fate. I don't believe trials make us stronger when It leaves us torn apart, I don't believe time heals all wounds when it leaves a scar. I smile and laugh so hard when in front of a crowd but behind those mask lies bitterness.
No one understand me ,even my dearest cannot fathom the severity of pain I have felt. Only the sound of silence can deduce my torment and the enmity I have felt. It has left me cold hearted and loneliness is my only friend
Despite all my afflictions and enigmas the heartache and anguish that life may bring my way...I will never relinquish my faith for ill feelings. Because my insipid journey would come to an end soon.
* * *
"In every way that counted, I was dead. Inside somewhere maybe I was screaming and weeping and howling like an animal, but that was another person deep inside, another person who had no access to the lips and face and mouth and head, so on the surface I just shrugged and smile and kept moving. If i could have physically passed away, just let it all go, like that, without doing anything, stepped out of life easily as walking through a door I would have done. But I was going to sleep at night and waking in the morning, disappointed to be there and resigned to existence":Neil Gaiman
* * *
Have you ever been at the brim where you have no choice but to jump?
Have you ever tried walking for a very long time but not knowing where to go? have you ever been in a situation where you need to breath for the sake of living?
have you ever felt so tired and then feel all your labours are meaningless?
Everyday you wake up wishing there will be something new. Gazing at yourself in the mirror finding nothing but shadow.
Why is the world so harsh, that it leaves you nothing but pain?it doesn't even give you the chance but decides for your fate. I don't believe trials make us stronger when It leaves us torn apart, I don't believe time heals all wounds when it leaves a scar. I smile and laugh so hard when in front of a crowd but behind those mask lies bitterness.
No one understand me ,even my dearest cannot fathom the severity of pain I have felt. Only the sound of silence can deduce my torment and the enmity I have felt. It has left me cold hearted and loneliness is my only friend
Despite all my afflictions and enigmas the heartache and anguish that life may bring my way...I will never relinquish my faith for ill feelings. Because my insipid journey would come to an end soon.
* * *
"In every way that counted, I was dead. Inside somewhere maybe I was screaming and weeping and howling like an animal, but that was another person deep inside, another person who had no access to the lips and face and mouth and head, so on the surface I just shrugged and smile and kept moving. If i could have physically passed away, just let it all go, like that, without doing anything, stepped out of life easily as walking through a door I would have done. But I was going to sleep at night and waking in the morning, disappointed to be there and resigned to existence":Neil Gaiman
Hold on..... it will roll away. Just hold onto God's love♡♡♡
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Thanks for visiting my blog dear
ReplyDeleteWow thank God you're in a better place now. I know the feeling.
ReplyDeleteMolola's Blog
Thanks dear ...I just thank God for grace
ReplyDeletehmmmm,in the midst of everything God is always there, just open your heart and leave it to God
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