What if I just want to be a goat?

 This couple of days I have been doing a lot of thinking(plans for the future, nigeria economy, and other happening around me especially on the issue of terrorism) I get scared easily, cry a lot( I was crying yesterday because the radio decided to play songs about unity in our country, plus this year is one of the hardest have experienced in my short life. Every time am feeling blue, I write to cheer myself up, might be reality about my situation or romanticism about the mundane. This post is the latter.
  Have you ever thought of the possibilities of life after this life only the next time you are asked to be an animal. Most people I know would choose to be dolphin, whales, shark. Personally I neva see dolphin before, the closest have been to seeing a dolphin inside oyinbo film. I have never gone to kiss sea lion before, shout out to tonto dike for showing me how its done. Anyway me I would prefer to be a goat. Ask me why before you start eyeing me now. Okay! now that you asked I would tell you why.

  
 1. Goats are free to do anything they want, I like their freedom, they don't have to go to school, or write exams.
   2. Goat don't have religion. I don't believe in hiding under religion to escape reality.
  3. Their food is so cheap. My mum got two bags of cassava pill for 200naira. Crispy bean waste 21 congo's for 600 naira. Food is very expensive for human being.
   4. they don't have to go to work to get food. All they need do is shout very well. The last time I cried for food my mum asked me if I had lost the use of my hands.
    5. They don't have to worry if that he goat has gotten their friend pregnant earlier, they would still hump each other. If my bestie dates my ex it means war( Once I break up with the boy she most break up with him too)chikena.
   6 . They are free to crap all over the yard. And still sleep on their own faeces( that's disgusting). My mum won't allow me breath if there is a strand of thread on the floor of my room.
   7. When the owner is nice, they get warm bath. Shout out to me grandma the goat bather.( She had a pure white "butty" goat) it remained white till she was transfer to my mums goating institution. Then it mane colour turned blue black(my mum is not into "pre pooing".

That's my reason for my choice. The only con however is

 1. Everything would go fine until one owner of 4 x 4 will open his booth, lead a line of grains to the opening and cart the goat away. The next appearance would be in a pot with really hot pepper .


The possibility of boiling in pepper does not go well with me so I have decide I would be a cat!