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Friday, 5 June 2015

The rape culture and an apology

 Hello! My beautiful people I apologize for going away without warning for so long, it was due to situation of things in nigeria.
   Life was harder than I was used to so I had to squeeze myself into the only cold spot around and that is my room, it was like all the elements in the world was against me, the sun was hotter, rain fell on my fine hair(had to loose it before I beat my head to death), there was no cooking gas due to d petrol scarcity so I feed on bread and coke for an entire week(taking a very long break from bread and I can still taste the coke). Transport was double the price, goods and services were expensive,My phone was off most of the time and the network was very bad, still very very bad. The major reason I didn't post anything its because I didn't want to rant for one whole week and because all my files disappeared from my phone.
     Anyways I think the hardship made me leave my comfort zone for a while, I decide to go visit a friend, on getting there I met him and the weirdest roommate in the entire world. Today's post is inspired by my conversation with him(the roommate).
   Apparently he was taken by my attention to him( I would listen to anything once its gossip) he told me about a lot of things that are supposed to be kept to himself, his parents, his birth, his family member, step father, education, philosophy of life, everything. Most of his story were not normal. The one I would be talking about is when he said " am a good guy, I don't rape".
      When he said that the noodle on my head, immediately started doing the work it abdicated since I entered the room and my friend said he needed to go to the studio 30minutes later. I started thinking of the reason I was still there. ' Here I am staying with someone who just told me that even though he doesn't rape, he was there when 5 of his friends raped a girl because she "fucked up".
        My brain however didn't transmit the RUN message to my leg, I wanted to know more, what happened, what did she do wrong. But words failed me when I tried to pass across that question. I was only trying to think of what I would tell the police when they ask for my statement( I was not 'forced' into the guy's room), what happens when I go to the student union security team to report, won't I be booed out when they hear I smiled sheepishly every time a stranger entered the room while I was there, can I stand the taunting from my fellow students, the name calling, all the "ahh that girl is not a good girlllleee jare" from people who barely know me, "what was she even doing in a boy's house", "I was expecting it sef", "maybe he didn't keep up with his own part of the bargaina(that is still rape sef, if you don't pay that runs girl you raped her)".... And the very few people that would pity me enough to give me a hug when they see me, or call to tell me 'its well, its all good'. Those that would hear the story of woe and manage say " Eyah, that girl that is always smiling".
     After seeing the light I had to think "why was i doing this thinking inside this room with this weird guy for the love of all things fried?". But a yoruba adage says "the person whose head will spoil, its the neck it starts from".
     I have realized I don't hear girls report rape cases and the few that are reported are usually just killed along the line. Now a days when a girl opens up about been raped, fingers are usually pointed her way instead of the rapist side, rape is justified, your hear people saying "with the way she dresses its little wonder she had not been raped earlier", "he is her boyfriend( good! He is her boyfriend, but that is not an invitation to bed, because I am going out with you doesn't mean we would have sex with each other, and if I refuse am on my right)". The worse part of all this is that most of the time, the side talks are usually said by girls.
    Now I ask why? If you know why abeg tell me, and another question what should we then do, "stand in the light or hide in the shadow?"


P.S :. Please loves don't try what I did, if you go visiting anybody make sure you keep you out of harms way. That because I would hate to loose anyone to mental illness. Pheezy truly and duly cares!...


Catch you on my next post hopefully tomorrow.


11 comments:

  1. My cooking gas finished too oh. Just had it refilled yesterday cos the prices last week weren't nice at all.

    I love slee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love sleepovers but it has to be someone I really know and trust. Though the devil can enter anybody sha. God help us!

      Molola's Blog

      Delete
  2. Girls are always at the receiving end of rape cases.. Hence the need to be careful with strangers and watch the company they keep..

    Www.trendwithgloria.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Rape is not justifiable...girls should always be careful...nowadays sef...its nomore strangers that rape but friends..one has to be careful of the kind of male friends he or she keeps.

    www.glowyshoe.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Devil can enter anybody shaa (in the voice of Molola), and that is true. Every occasion of sin is an invitation to sin; in this case rape. It could also be fornication. We need to guard ourselves (ladies) and use our senses well.

    Pheezy hope your story did not end with regrets and pains.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It didn't ugo... I talked to my legs as soon as it occurred to me that anything could have happened

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great!
      They guy is really weird o. Thank God your senses were in tact.
      Thanks for sharing. Lessons have been taken.

      Delete
  6. The rate victims usually fear the stigma to come more than d rape, so dey just cover up the shame. I really don't know how deyll brace up cos it's only the really brave ones dat come out.

    Pamscrib.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Our society point fingers at the ladies most of the time.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You didn't tell us if he raped you or whether it was a good sex,lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lol. Paul, com'on. Its rape we are talking here. Dont make it sound funny

    www.bellacurvesng.com

    ReplyDelete

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